singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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