It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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