Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
