its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
