The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
