Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
