I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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