I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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