She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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