I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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