well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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