She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
