theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i dont even know how to be here
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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