i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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