out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize