weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
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