So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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