you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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