No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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