Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
