I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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