I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize