Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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