pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
