And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
