oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
A bitchslap is in order.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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