I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
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The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
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At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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