her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
