shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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