let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Randomize
