Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
