the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
