now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize