She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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