you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
