I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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