Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it's like heaven, but drunker
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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