Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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