Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
