We won't sleep together?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
