where am i from again
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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