Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
