big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
