you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
