she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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