i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
