I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think your dad took our porno
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i out mim tonsoeep
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