Only a mothe r could love this liver
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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