I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
