whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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