i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
