I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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