Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
