Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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