We won't sleep together?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
