We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
