hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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