Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Buhtt sex?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
