I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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