Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
