so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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