I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
