Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
