Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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