You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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